Jason English

Role Models

• Danny: Can I get a large black coffee?
• Barista: A what?
• Danny: Large black coffee.
• Barista: Do you mean a venti?
• Danny: No, I mean a large.
• Barista: Venti is large.
• Danny: No, venti is twenty. Large is large. In fact, tall is large and grande is Spanish for large. Venti is the only one that doesn't mean large. It's also the only one that's Italian. Congratulations, you're stupid in three languages.
• Barista: A venti is a large coffee.
• Danny: Really? Says who? Fellini? Do you accept lira or is it all euros now?